When children are young and still living at home, divorce can be hard on them, especially in the beginning when they are still getting used to their new life and living arrangements. How the divorce will affect the children is one reason that couples sometimes stay married longer than they should or longer that they want to be married. Salt Lake City family law attorney, Emy Cordano knows that as parents, you want to protect your children, and making the to divorce can make you wonder if you are being selfish and putting what is best for you over what is best for your children.
What our family law team has learned through years of divorce representation is that usually children do not want their parents to get divorced, but parents are the adults and when they make the decision to divorce, it is generally in the best interest of the family as a whole. Children who are opposed to their parents’ divorce may go through resistance and growing pains, but children are resilient and they can come out on top when one or both parents handle their divorce and behaviors in a positive way for their children. This is especially true for children who have a strong support system, which may include family members, guidance counselors, and therapists to help them with their emotions, understanding, and acceptance.
How to help your children through divorce
Children and divorce expert writers for Psychology Today have studied the effects of divorce on children and offer some advice as to how to help your children through your divorce.
- Protecting your children from conflict is one of the best things you can do for them as they go through this journey with you. Do not expose them to fighting and difficult discussions.
- Do not ask your children to be the go-between with you and your co-parent. Do not confide in children about parts of the divorce that are between parents and especially avoid speaking negatively about their other parent.
- Be supportive by encouraging them to speak with you, listen to them when they want to talk, and give them your full attention as often as possible.
- Make sure that your children have structure so that their life feels predictable. When there is no routine and children have no idea what to expect from day to day, they may feel stressed and unsettled.
- Take care of yourself. Lean on your support system and make sure that you are emotionally and physically healthy so that you are able to be there for your children.
- Practice communicating with your ex in an effective and respectful manner. Regular communication and information sharing are important and healthy for all of you.
Salt Lake City family law attorney, Emy Cordano knows that you want what is best for your children and she will provide representation that protects your best interests and their best interests. Divorce is hard for everyone, but its effects on children do not have to be detrimental or long term.