Mancini & Associates
How To Establish Boundaries With Your Former Spouse
It is important you establish clear and strict boundaries with your ex-spouse very early on during the divorce process.
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On behalf of Emy A. Cordano, posted in Divorce Attorney on Thursday, December 14, 2017.

Communicating and dealing with your former spouse is part of the divorce package. But it is important you establish clear and strict boundaries with your ex-spouse very early on during the divorce process. Relationship experts agree these boundaries are crucial, especially if you have children.

Set clear boundaries

One of the biggest problems with relationships is that one person is generally involved and the other one doesn’t care. In other words, you can’t control how someone acts after getting divorced. But making the wrong decisions can impact the whole family. So make sure you set clear boundaries with your ex and keep everyone safe. There are two types of boundaries, internal and external. External boundaries are there to make sure your former spouse doesn’t take advantage of you and internal boundaries help you stop doing too much for your former spouse. Just remember that no matter how bad is your relationship with your ex, he or she should be involved in your children’s lives. So set good boundaries but don’t overdo it.

Ways to set these boundaries

There are some things you can do to establish clear boundaries with your former spouse:

  • Good communication – This is essential during divorce. If you had poor communication during your marriage chances are it will continue after getting divorced. You must fix this situation, especially if you have kids. If you don’t exchange important information relevant to your divorce case, custody arrangement, and so on, it can create confusion. Also, if you are struggling financially or need help fixing something in the house, don’t call your former spouse as it can create a dependence and blur established boundaries.
  • Become financially independent – Becoming financially independent is one the best approaches to establishing clear boundaries. When you accept financial support from your ex, you are giving him or her permission to get involved in your life. Even with child support arrangements, make sure you establish effective boundaries.
  • Don’t get physical – Handshakes and friendly hugs are okay but it is best not to get too physical. It will ruin everything and open a dangerous door for manipulation.
  • Respect court orders – It is important you respect court orders. If you are not happy with your current visitation schedule or with how the assets were divided, contact your attorney and ask about the possibility of requesting a modification.
  • You need space – Both you and your former spouse need some space to move on. Give each other time to adjust to your new life.

Seek legal assistance

It is important you protect yourself and your family after divorce. If you have made the difficult decision of pursuing a divorce, working with a well-versed Salt Lake City divorce attorney can put you in the best position to succeed. Contact us today to schedule a case assessment where you can find out about your legal options.